6 Months

Ya know that saying? Time flys when you're having fun....well all I can say is that for once in my life my fun has lasted 6 months! Yup. No big deal to most but this marks 1/2 year for many more to come. 6 months ago he stepped off the plane and into my life.

I sit here and think back and I would be bluffing if I didn't admit that my heart races with excitement, just the same as it did that day. Thinking about finally being able to touch him, to kiss him, to hold him. It was amazing, and still is. I have to say that October 30, 2005 was one of the most memorable days of my life (aside from the birth of my daughter, of course). Actually before October 30, 2005 I find it hard to recall my life. Maybe it's the fact that I've blocked that part of my life out and finally bringing myself to concentrate on the happiness I'm experiencing now.

When I see someone who is unhappy in their relationship I feel so much sorrow for them. I was there. I know how it feels to be with someone who makes you feel bad, someone who talks to you disrespectfully, someone whose happiness is based on making you cry. I truly believe that if my life hadn't changed I was headed for deep depression, possibly worse. It scares me to think what could have happened. So is he my Superman? My hero? You bet. He saved me from what could have happened, from what frightens me to even think what may have happened. The sad thing is that nobody around me saw it. I mean there were moments I had (most of which were at work...bad timing) where co-workers/supervisors saw my tears. Sometimes it built up to a point where I couldn't hold it in anymore. And to do it at work meant that he wouldn't have the pleasure of seeing me cry. I really think he liked the fact that he had that affect on me. Now that I'm in the situation I'm in and I think back at the times he made me feel worthless......it makes me angry. I hate that I allowed him to have that control over me. I should have been stronger.

I guess "should have been" is just that and where I should leave it....the past. If I could just take back the wasted time....like "our" song says. Actually there's not a song more suitable than this one so I'll post it. Reading the words sends chills and it's good to know that he's made every word of this song sing true. My broken road couldn't have been more blessed then the moment he stepped into my life.
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Bless the Broken Road
Rascal Flatts

I set out on a narrow way many years ago
Hoping I would find True Love along the broken road
But I got lost a time or two
Wiped my brow and kept pushing through
I couldn't see how every sign pointed straight to you

Chorus:
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

I think about the years I spent just passing through
I'd like to have the time I lost and give it back to you
But you just smile and take my hand
You've been there you understand
It's all part of a grander plan that is coming true

Chorus:
Every long lost dream led me to where you are
Others who broke my heart they were like northern stars
Pointing me on my way into your loving arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road
That led me straight to you

Now I’m just rollin’ home into my lover's arms
This much I know is true
That God blessed the broken road that led me straight to you
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Here's to the happiest 6 months of my life and many more to come. I thank God every day for the gift he granted me, You. Thank you for giving to me what comes most natural for you....True Love. I'll treasure it every day I open my eyes.

Happy 6 month Annivesary sweetheart. I love you Joel Bailey.