My Tribute to Veterans

Photos retrieved from www.magnumphotos.com

Photo

I’m finding myself becoming more intrigued with photography here lately.

Last week Joe, a friend from work, wanted to come to the old house and look at some items that I intend to sell. After dropping Faith off at school I went over to the house. Going there kind of gets me feeling bad, so I headed upstairs to wait. I looked around rummaging through stuff to see what could be sold and what should be kept. I stumbled across a box of pictures. I sat down with my coffee and began to look through them, smiling at some and then feeling my eyes fill up with tears when I looked at others. I never realized how a photograph captures a moment, how a picture brings back such memories…some happy, some sad, some embarrassing, some that may upset you or make you angry. It’s funny how a piece of paper can the power to affect you emotionally. It was then, as I sat there looking through pictures of my past, that I actually took the time to think about what my eyes were seeing. Remembering the times and how much life changes and the life captured in a photo.

I’ve also been visiting an awesome blog on MSN of a lovely lady, Julieann, who is a photographer and her story has captured my heart. I don’t know her personally but the first entry I read on her blog was the one she wrote of her feelings on Mothers Day. Wow. It was like me reading my own thoughts, from that point on I was hooked. Now that I’ve read more about her I find that her story is much more of that than a photographer. Please if you have the opportunity take a look at her site, I truly recommend it. Her story makes you see the beauty of life, at least for me it does. Her link is http://spaces.msn.com/janordstrom/ , when you get a chance stop by and visit her. It will be worth your time.

And in closing.....the next time you pick up your camera to snap a photo….stop….breathe in…..take a second to capture that moment in your mind and heart for it may be years down the road that you will be able to pick up that photo, look at it and feel the same exact way you did the very moment you snapped the picture.

A memory, a feeling, a thought…..all on a piece of paper.

Family, Friends, Love

I don't believe an accident of birth makes people sisters or brothers. It makes them siblings, gives them mutuality of parentage. Sisterhood and brotherhood is a condition people have to work at.
~Maya Angelou

A mother is the truest friend we have, when trials heavy and sudden, fall upon us; when adversity takes the place of prosperity; when friends who rejoice with us in our sunshine desert us; when trouble thickens around us, still will she cling to us, and endeavor by her kind precepts and counsels to dissipate the clouds of darkness, and cause peace to return to our hearts. ~Washington Irving

The words that a father speaks to his children in the privacy of home are not heard by the world, but, as in whispering-galleries, they are clearly heard at the end and by posterity.
~Jean Paul Richter

We are not enemies, but friends. We must not be enemies. Though passion may have strained, it must not break our bonds of affection. The mystic cords of memory will swell when again touched as surely they will be by the better angels of our nature.
~Abraham Lincoln


......just thinking out loud

The Fight for Field Day

Do you remember the Field Day trips in school? The excitement you felt when you felt when on the ride to school you knew that the day was going to be so much fun and the excitement you felt was overwhelming?

My ex-husband tells me the other night that Faith won't have school next Thursday. I was a little confused as to why since I didn't get anything from the school or there wasn't anything special on the school calander. He told me that she didn't have school because the first grade was having their field trip that day. I was even more confused. So the next morning when I dropped Faith off to the aide I asked her why there was no school for Faith that Thursday. She said "Oh no, Faith can come to school but the first grade is going to Norwood Park for Field Day so she won't be going to out classes." I asked her why it was that Faith wasn't included in with the festivities. She informed me that in order for Faith to go to Field Day with the rest of the class they would have to get a handicap bus. I gazed at her through a haze. Surely she wasn't saying what I thought she was saying. I could feel my heart begin to beat faster as I started to question her comment. Sure enough, she was saying what I thought she was saying. Faith wasn't included in with the rest of the class because the Board of Education didn't approve a handicap bus. I became very angry. The aide agreed how wrong it was for them to pick when it was appropriate for Faith to be intigrated in with the "normal" class. Their take was that Faith should be around the "normal" children as much as she can so she will be accepted and viewed as a classmate rather than be labeled. I can appreciate that and I agree. However there have been more occasions that I feel the only reason they voice that opinion is so the county can avoid the cost of providing a one-on-one aide. It's useless to fight, they win. I've taken letters upon letters from Faith's doctors to these meetings where they document Faith would advance and do better with aide assistance where someone will be available to work hand over hand with her at all times, but yet they feel it's their opinion that matters. They know better than the physicians that have followed Faith since birth. I've pretty much come to the conclusion that it's going to take finding a lawyer to handle a case like this or moving to another county. Sad that you have to take such measures to see that your child gets the education she deserves.

Ok, back to the Field Trip story. So I'm pissed. I mean REALLY pissed. After leaving the school I'm so upset I'm shaking. I call the ex and ask him why he would just let this go? "WHY would you think it's ok to allow them to discriminate our daughter???" I asked. His response was that he didn't feel that Faith would enjoy it much anyway. What??? Did he not realize that anytime Faith is around other children she is in her own little heaven. She loves it. It's sometimes sad to watch her watch other children. She is too young to realize what she's missing. Not being able to run and play as they do but yet she laughs and giggles at them as they whiz by her laughing and yelling at one another as she sits in her wheelchair. I find it hard to be sad on the outside tho. Her laughter makes me smile. She amazes me. She's so happy. She's happy to just watch them play. It's times like this that I sit down and think about it that I get sad. I wonder if she'll ever be able to play as they do. I wonder if she will always be content to watch. Will she get to an age where she becomes angry? I can only pray that she keeps her innocent and amazing outlook on the world around her.

Sorry...I did it again. To make a long story (of which still makes my blood pressure rise when I think about it) short. I spoke with the principal and told him that it's in everyones best interest that he look into getting my little girl a bus so she can join her class at that Field Day. Two days of building up....ready to fight....ready to be on the steps of the BOE at 8am....ready to do whatever it took to see that my little girl gets to participate with the "normal" children. I contacted the school yesterday on my break from work and the teacher told me that the bus was approved. I was so happy!! Very shocked tho. This is the first time that I've fought and Faith came out the winner. It was very rewarding and I know that even though Faith doesn't realize all the complications we go through to stand up for her rights that I can truly enjoy her laughter when she watches those kids play at the park......I often find myself looking at the world through Faith's eyes.

Mothers Day - May 14

Let's see.....8 yrs ago this coming May 13 I found out I was pregnant. The next day (Mothers Day) we told our parents. Our wedding was August 22 and at this point our thoughts were "if it happens, so be it...if it doesn't, so be it". Well I guess you can call me Fertile Myrtle. We took a pregnancy test and when it came out positive....well let's just say at 11pm we were driving to Wal-Mart to get another just to confirm. Sure enough the second one said the same thing. I don't know how I felt at that moment. I hadn't made preperations to be a mother, didn't actually even think of myself as a mother at that moment I was in shock, mostly. I was scared. Confused. Unsure that this was right. Was I happy? No, not at this point...not yet.

Anyways, when we went to Wal-Mart to pick up the second pregnancy test we decided to do this a little differently and break this to our parents in a "creative, a sorta gentle" way. I mean we were planning a wedding for God's sake, so I suppose I wasn't sure if they would accept the fact that we couldn't wait 3 months before "sticking a bun in the oven". I was a bit nervous of the reaction we would get...I had to think of a way to break it to them without having to come out and say...."I'm pregnant". Without words would be the easiest way.We picked up a set of bibs for my parents and a little box of baby rattles for his parents. Got Mother's Day cards and hoped for the best.

Gosh writing this brings back such strong memories of that day....I can still see my mom's face as she opened the gift. I sat at the kitchen table, she across from me, Dad and Tim standing side by side in the kitchen. At the time we had a dog whom we took EVERYWHERE...he was our baby. Well, we told them that they had to open the gifts together because it wouldn't mean the same if they didn't. They looked at us like we were crazy, but my parents knew how I was. Upon opening the bibs....my mom had this weird look on her face and her comment was "Oh look....bibs from Max". (Max, of course, being the dog). I just smiled and shook my head, I hadn't even thought that she would think that. My eyes widened as she looked at me and said....."They ARE from Max, aren't they??". My dad just stood there dumbfounded, not saying a word. I just smiled and shook my head no. Oh God, that's all it took!!!! My mom was up outta that chair in no time..... hollerin and yellin like she had just hit the lottery. She was sooooo happy.

That was my last "happy" Mother's Day.

The next two Mother Days were celebrated out of the hospital watching my little girl go through surgeries. The third was celebrated without my mom.

I don't celebrate Mother's Day anymore.....to me, it's just another day.

Saturday Stuff

Ok, first of all you know your weekend is gonna suck when you have to work Saturday. Now I've worked Sundays before and they are awesome. Ya know, it's "God's day" so hardly anyone calls about their bills. This is a good thing. Saturdays tho....Oh my....everyone and their brother must do bills on Saturday. Since 8am there hasn't been a breather any longer than maybe 2 minutes. Hello??? Saturdays are for picnicing, taking a walk, sleeping in, cleaning house....NOT calling the electric company! I mean if we gotta work at least take it easy on us. The only good thing about working Saturday is that I can listen to the entire Top 40 (yeah, well what do you expect, eh??). And even that isn't working well because my stupid STUPID reception isn't worth a crap. Grrrr. Never working Saturday again.....well after 5/20 (I've already traded). The up side to Saturday employment is the trade gives me 4 days off in a row. I keep thinking of the 4 days to try and compensate the way I feel about working today.....I'm still undecided if it's worth it. Hmmmm ....yeah I suppose it is. Saturdays suck, but Mondays suck worse. See I just realized a lot of the non-payers (this would be defined as those of who recieve electric service and decide after no payment of, let's say....6 months....that's it's totally unfair that they have recieved a termination notice. Go figure) don't realize that the office is open on the weekend. Simply because they never look at their bill....they haven't paid in 6 months why would they need to. Mondays? The entire non-paying society calls in.

Eh....working Saturdays ain't so bad.