A Lack of Respect

First I must convey my apologies to all readers of this blog. I'm on a rampage, per say... so just remember that as you continue to read.

A few weeks ago I was listening to the radio on my way to work and a lady had called in voicing her opinion to the DJ's about the choice of music they play. The DJ had refused to play a song (that of which fails to come to memory), so the woman called in giving her opinion on his decision. I had never quite thought about it from her aspect before, but as she spoke her piece I realized how right she was. She stated how she was appalled that the DJ had refused to play the requested song but yet played the song "Buttons" by the Pussycat Dolls repeatedly. She stated a few lyrics in the song:

I'm telling you loosen up my buttons baby
But you keep fronting
Saying what you going to do to me
But I ain't seen nothing

You been saying all the right things all night long
But I can't seem to get you over here to help take this off
Baby, can't you see?
How these clothes are fitting on me

You say you're a big boy
But I can't agree
'Cause the love you said you had
Ain't been put on me

Come on baby, loosen up my buttons babe
Loosen up my buttons babe
Baby, won't you loosen up my buttons babe?
Loosen up my buttons babe

Now these "girls" may look good and move great, but you just gotta wonder about the lack of respect they have for themselves. The woman was right. The DJ refuses to play certain music, like Eminem whom sings about what he's lived, but yet has no problem playing a song where women degrade themselves. What has our female society come to? It's necessary to "sell" your body in order to be attractive? What are groups like this teaching our young daughters? You have to wear skimpy clothes and have a belly ring to be attractive? You have to have your panties showing above your jeans to be sexy? You have to weigh 100 lbs soak and wet to catch a man's attention? It's not bad enough the pressure that our young ladies feel these days, with drugs and sex... let alone the "Pussycat Dolls" singing about how "loosening up your buttons" is the only way to land the male species. Hello? Everything about this is wrong.

It sickens me to hear songs like this and to read the lyrics. Shallow and mindless women who sing and dance around stage like a bunch of tramps let loose from a dog pound.... all to sell a few records. Meanwhile little Amy is growing up hearing these "girls" and thinking that she has to dress the way they do to be attractive, forget a man falling in love with them for what's on the inside. She'll end up pregnant at 15 yrs old and on welfare for support.... but do you hear the "Pussycat Dolls" sing about that? No. Why? Well, of course that wouldn't sell their records. And we all know it's about the money, not the morality. When you go to the mall and see an 11 yr old dressed in a skirt so short that if she were to bend over.... well, you get the idea, a belly button ring and more makeup than what I've ever worn.... what are these parents thinking? And then they wonder why grown men glance at their 11 yr old as they waltz down the middle of the mall. Because they don't look 11. Why would you want your child to grow up any faster than what they will grow up? It enrages me to see what our young girls look to as role models. These mindless, materialistic, promiscuous whores who shake their ass on stage...... their songs reek of sex and how that's what the youth should focus on. The name says it all - "Pussycat Dolls".

A lack of respect..... not only to themselves, but to all our young ladies who look up to them.

Day After Christmas

Back to work today. I hated it. I mean, come on... you need at least one day to recover from Christmas, ya know? Joel had today off (little turd), well kind of. I mean he spent all day working on this project for his company so even though he was home he wasn't technically off. So I take the turd comment back, sorry baby.

It's going on midnight.... day after Christmas and I sit here at my desk again glancing into the kitchen at the counter still with dirty dishes. Not as many, mind you, but still dirty dishes from Christmas dinner. I believe that I'll be able to fit all of the remaining into the dishwasher tomorrow. So ya know, three day old crusty Christmas dishes..... not too bad, eh? Like I said, I'm just glad it's over and only happens once a year.

Stopped down at the corner market tonight after picking Faith up and saw a sign "Free Puppies". Now as many of you know, my past experience with "free" pets didn't go well. I wanted "a" kitten and ended up with three (well, they were brothers.... who am I to seperate family?). Needless to say we had them about 2 months and had to rid of them. I didn't realize cat crap could stink so badly NOR did I realize that they would tear up my $50 shears (that's 2 shers per window with a total of $300... yeah ridding of kittens don't sound so cruel now, does it?). So after becoming kitty free, Joel and I discussed the possibility of considering a puppy. I told him later on after we're settled and all. All intensions were to get an outside dog, but to wait till we were able to afford a place with a fence or enough room for the dog to run. But tonight when I saw those words "Free Puppies", I saw a sign (besides the obvious one with "Free Puppies" written on it). So when I got home Joel called and these pups are 1/2 Yellow Lab and 1/2 Dalmation. Now I don't know about you, but that just don't sound like it'd be a pretty animal. The lady said she had the sign hanging for 4 days, started with 8 puppies and now down to 3 (2 male, 1 female). Needless to say, we are going to go look at them tomorrow evening around 6:30. I'll update you on whether our house becomes canine friendly.

Speaking of tomorrow..... gonna be a long day at work. One of those muts may get lucky as I will probably be very vulnerable. Please pray that I can be strong. I've never thought of "Labmation" as a canine breed of interest. We shall see.

As Christmas nears it's end....

The clock has almost struck midnight and Christmas will be done. Even though this has been one of the only "good" Christmas' I've celebrated since my Mom passed, I gotta admit..... I'm so glad it's over! I sit here at my desk and glance in the kitchen at the sink full of dishes still left over from dinner. Mind you, this is the 2nd batch of dirty dishes.... ones that wouldn't fit in the dishwasher. I'm too doggone tired to load up that thing again and it's against the law for you to hand-wash dishes if you have a dishwasher (Law of Lori). So yes, Christmas was exceptionally better than last and definitly better than the last three..... but I do sigh a bit of relief that it's done.

My only goal for New Years Eve/Day..... get that dang tree down. My wonderful husband has been designated to unstring the lights, of course this would be for the safety of everyone as my patience with lights is not one of my best attributes.

Wishing the best for you and your family this Christmas.

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Words To Live By

The past cannot be changed, but the future is still in your power.
- Hugh White -

Don't let today's disappointments cast a shadow on tomorrow's dreams.
- Author Unknown -

The only place where dreams are impossibilities is in your own mind.
- Emalie -

Love comforteth like sunshine after rain.
- William Shakespeare -

One word frees us of all the weight and pain of life: that word is love.
- Sophocles -

You don't marry someone you can live with,
you marry the person who you cannot live without.
- Author Unknown -

I love you -
those three words have my life in them.
~ by Alexandrea to Nicholas III ~

I love thee, I love but thee
With a love that shall not die
Till the sun grows cold
And the stars grow old.
~ by Willam Shakespeare ~

One word frees us of all the weight and pain in life,
That word is Love
~ by Socrates ~

Love asks me no questions,
And gives me endless support...
~ by William Shakespeare ~

Love is that condition in which the happiness of another person is essential to your own.
~ by Robert A. Heinlein, Stranger in a Strange Land ~

Being deeply loved by someone gives you strength,
While loving someone deeply gives you courage.
~ by Lao Tzu ~

Love knows no reasons, love knows no lies.
Love defies all reasons, love has no eyes.
But love is not blind, love sees but doesn't mind.
~ by Author unknown ~

The courses of true love never did run smooth.
~ by William Shakespeare ~

Freedom of Life

(for privacy, names have been altered)

Every day when I shut the office door and throw my purse over my shoulder I smile as the door opens up to the outside. I don't usually look back.... until the other day.

I work in an assisted living facility. I've only been there going on 4 months, before that I worked for 7 years at an electric company. So this has already been a learning experience. When I started working there it was hard for me not to glance at each and every resident, some were very alert and alive... others did good just to open their eyes.

I first met Johnny, who is probably in his mid-60's and has been living there for 2 yrs. He "approved" me upon my interview. Every day Johnny will come up in his wheelchair and sit beside the receptionist. He is the official greeter. More like the official "know-it-all". He knows more about what goes on in the facility then I do. He always says "Wow" as I head out or in, of course it's so hard to resist a smile with his Elvis hairdo. Next, I met Doug. Doug is 42. That's not even 10 yrs older than I. Doug is in a wheelchair as a result of CP. He is as smart as a tack and has such a wonderful personality. He and I have become fast buddies. He holds a lot of anger, and who could blame him? He is the 2nd youngest resident in the building. What's even more sad is that his mind works fine, it's just his body that he can't make function properly. He is probably the one that tears at my heart the most. We also have Michael who is probably in his late 40's, early 50's. He also suffers from CP. Now it's funny because I only see Michael on Fridays. I tease him about only coming around to visit on Fridays, but he tells me it's his way to get pumped up for the weekend, his way to put on his "party hat", per say. He's another one that cracks me up. He told me a joke last Friday. "Why doesn't Frosty have any kids?" I humor him, "Why Michael?".... Micheal replies, loudly might I say, "Because he's got snowballs!". Ornary is about the only word I can think of for that one. We also have Mary, who is the sweetest little thing you can imagine. Mary suffers from Alzheimers. She is one of the few that is able to walk around the facility, most of them are confined to wheelchairs or are unable to leave their bed. She walks around with this babydoll in hand. You never see her without this baby. One day I see Mary in the hall and the baby has food all over her face. I stop and say "Goodness, it looks like someone ate well today!" Mary goes on and on about how "Liz" eats very well and that she never has to worry about that. I suddenly notice something from Liz's nose. Hmmm.... I wonder. Oh yeah, I suppose Mary also realized that sometimes babies have boogers sticking out of their noses. I had to laugh, I mean you gotta give Mary credit for the imagination of putting a booger on a babydoll's nose! I never thought of a babydoll booger nose when I played with dolls. I told Joel about Mary. Instead of the smile I expected when I told the story, he just kind of shook his head and said that he thought it was very sad for someone to get to that point. I told him that I thought it was sad for her family, but as for Mary... she's happy, she's a child again. And for children their world revolves around what makes them happy. She is a sweetie, for sure... boogers and all!

Some residents bring a bit of sadness. Take Ethal, for example. Ethal is a live wire, I'll give her that. But Ethal is one of the residents that tug at my heartstrings the most. Ethal also suffers from Alzheimers. Ethal will find her way up to the front door and try to get out of the facility. Some residents pose a danger to themselves if they exit the building. Ethal wears an ankle alarm so every time she gets near one of the doors, the alarm sounds and the doors automatically lock. Ethal is very determined. Some days she will attempt to exit the front door 10 times. I hear the alarm sound then I hear Ethal yelling and cursing. Now I do have to give Ethal credit for attempting the front door. I mean you'd think she would attempt a door where the receptionist isn't sitting right there, but no. Let me explain her method. I belive Ethal attempts the front entrance because she is aware that people enter and exit frequently here, maybe just maybe that will be her oppurtunity to "slip out" without anyone noticing. Ethal has had me in tears before. She yells how she wants to go home and we need to let her go. Her little wrinkled hands hold on the tightly to the wall rails as the nurses try to pull her away to take her back to her room. I try to tell Ethal that she doesn't want to go out because it's too cold or the wind is blowing to much. Sometimes that seems to help her calm down, but ya see... Ethal just wants to go home. The other day she was on a spree with the exit thing. I grabbed her wheelchair and even though Ethal is just a little thing she is mighty strong and determined. She turned and looked me straight in the eye and said "Damn it, let me go!", grabbed my hand off the back of her wheelchair and bite me. Of course it didn't hurt, but I was a bit shocked to see her reaction towards me like that. I just said "Now Ethal that wasn't very nice. I just don't want you to get lost or hurt." She just looked at me with her sad eyes. She is probably the second one that tears at my heart. Bill is another resident that makes me smile. He sings in the hall... loudly, may I add. Last week I heard him bellowing out "She'll be coming around the mountain when she comes....", I just smile as I sit at my desk and hear him singing. He has days where he'll wait by the front door and ask when his bus will come. Also suffering from Alzheimers, he believes that he'll be late for work. He tells how he won a Purple Heart when he was at war. I overheard him telling that story to the Human Resource Director and she took the time to stand there and listen and then thanked him for his time. He just smiled as he took her hand in his. Another day a tear rolled up in my eye.

So the other day I'm heading home, it was the weekend I had worked over to help the Administrator figure out the budgeted hours for 2007 and it's one day that I had the oppurtunity to see the Christmas lights they had put up at dusk. So I looked back at the front of the nursing home. The offices were dark, the front lobby was dark. I just stopped and the thoughts came to my mind of those residents. This is their life. They can't breath that deep sigh when the door closes upon them exiting. As I looked back at the facility I realized my freedom of life. I felt sad to be going home this time. The drive home was a bit longer than usual as I kept thinking how these residents spend their evenings, their weekends, their holidays.... how they will be spending Christmas.

I learned a lesson this Friday as I walked away from my workplace. I'm not going to stress over the gifts I'm able to buy, over whether the dinner turns out perfectly, whether the lights are strung to perfection or rather the ribbon on the gift matches the paper...... I'm going to enjoy the time I spend with my loved ones and treasure each and every moment I'm able to wake up Christmas morning in my bed beside my husband and help my little girl open her presents. I'm going to enjoy cooking dinner for my family, as I know they appreciate my effort. I'm going to smile as they open the gift, not because the ribbon matches the paper but because they know that gift was bought with love. The Christmas tree is lite with lights and glow only because of the love in my household, not because the lights are strung perfectly.

Savor the time you have with your loved ones this year, as one day you may find yourself alone and in a dark place where you can't awake to the Christmas you've enjoyed in the past... and it will be only then that you wish you would have taken the time to realize what Christmas is all about.

No Time

I knelt to pray but not for long,
I had too much to do.
I had to hurry and get to work
For bills would soon be due.
So I knelt and said a hurried prayer,
And jumped up off my knees.
My Christian duty was now done
My soul could rest at ease.....
All day long I had no time
To spread a word of cheer
No time to speak of Christ to friends,
They'd laugh at me I'd fear.
No time, no time, too much to do,
That was my constant cry,
No time to give to souls in need
But at last the time, the time to die.
I went before the Lord,
I came, I stood with downcast eyes.
For in his hands God held a book;
It was the book of life.
God looked into his book and said
"Your name I cannot find
I once was going to write it down...
But never found the time"
_______________________________________________________
A friend sent this to me today and I'm ashamed to say that it hit home probably more so than I wanted to realize. A lot of times I find myself saying these same things. "No Time" or "What would they think?". I mean I'm outspoken about my belief in Jesus, but I find that I lack to witness for him. A man that died for me. Seems that's the least I can do, doesn't it?
I post this only to hope that this makes you think as it did me today.