The Importance

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The importance of ones life is to know they are needed. To know that they belong. To love and to be loved. To conquer all fears and to feel victorious no matter what the outcome may be.

The importance of love is that there are no barriers, no stipulations, no boundries. To know that the love that one shows you has no consequences or that you will stand no judgements.

The importance of happiness comes when both life and love work together as one.

I live my life to love him....that is the importance in my life. Now and always.

He is my rock, my shelter, my protector, my refuge, my foundation and my defender.
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I've heard many tales of one dying from a broken heart. I truly believe this. I believe that once you find the person you're meant to live and love, with and for, you can never live your life again without them beside you and your walk in life.

I've never had the feeling of complete emptiness and fear as I did tonight. Just the thought of awakening without him in my life left me feeling lost, it was inconceivable. I prayed. I prayed and at one point even felt betrayed. God must have shown this to him, because he asked me that whatever happens, to not be angry with God. His words burned and I felt myself become a bit shamed. He listens so well and I've forgotten how much I've shared. He remembered the anger that I shared with him I felt towards God during the trials with Faith and the loss of my mother. His request for me was immense, but as he looked at me with those beautiful and loving eyes, I couldn't respond. I couldn't make that promise. How could I? How do you not feel anger when God has control over what you have and what's taken away? And why is it fair to have something taken away that you've waited for your entire life? It's not.

I grinned at him thru tears and felt troubled that I couldn't make that promise....and I still do not know if that is a promise I could ever make.

It's 2:30am and as I write this, glancing over at the blanket to be sure I see the movement of his breathing, I bow my head to thank God. Thank You for not taking him. Thank You for answering my plea for help. Thank You for sending him to me. Thank You for his love, for Your love. And even tho there stands a promise that I may not be able to make, You understand. You love me. Your love cradles me.

The love for my Lord Jesus Christ stands, even thru my anger.

Thank You......for everything.