Fight for a Right

I've been in a world full of emotions since Thursday.

It started with speaking to Social Security to try and get Faith approved for benefits, hey it probably won't be a lot but Faith deserves it as much as the next person receiving it. Later that afternoon I attended, yet another, IEP meeting for Faith at school. This should be a meeting where the parents get to advise the school what their special needs child requires to succeed. However year after year it's been them telling us what they feel Faith needs and not even listening to us. I mean, who are we? Just her parents.

This was one meeting where I thought would be different. I had an advocate and Faith's social worker there with me and the advocate had advised me that this would be one of the shortest meetings that I had ever been to. Typically we're looking at a 2-3 hour process with the arguing and bickering back and forth between the board member and us. Since she advised me that it should only be a 30-minute meeting, I left work to attend and advised them that I wouldn't be gone long and went on my happy way thinking that we would absolutely blow them out of the water by refusing to sign the IEP documents.

So I sat there quietly, well I say quiet because before I spent most of the meeting arguing and fussing about what was put in Faith's IEP. I think they knew there would be a bomb at the end. Well, needless to say when I refused to sign all hell broke loose. I had the principal on one side of me yelling and my advocate on the other side yelling back at him. I sat there, not knowing what to say anymore. Why weren't they hearing me? Why has it been year after year that they feel they know what's best for my daughter? I started crying. Once everyone stopped yelling and realized that I was sitting there with my face in my hands crying, the room cleared out pretty quickly. I was crying for Faith and how I felt as her mother that she is not getting the attention for her to succeed to her fullest potential and how I felt like I had no other choice. Maybe it was time for me to throw my hands up in the air and allow them to claim their victory. I tried to go back to work but couldn't hold back my tears so my supervisor sent me home.

My husband, as usual, was very sympathetic and encouraging but because my self-esteem and hope had been trampled on a few hours before everything was running in circles in my mind. I couldn't stop thinking about it all and finally crashed on the couch at 6pm. I awoke a bit before 9pm and then ended going back to bed around 11pm. Before going to bed my husband had showed me a letter that he had written to the principal. Please allow me to share:

Mr. Gorrell,

Tonight, my wife came home in tears. She said that one day, she hoped to hear her little girl say "mommy". It remains her hope, and my express belief, that with the proper care and therapy, Faith Smith will one day say that little word.

Your "mission statement" would have me believe that the mission of Nutter Fort Elementary School is to "provide a child centered environment that will allow all students to become successful." The margin of success depends upon the individual. And for Faith, that might be as simple as one little word. It further offers that the stated goal is to "create a learning situation in which each child is encouraged to progress continuously in the mastery of processes according to her or his own needs and capabilities." The mission statement and it's purported "goals" all suggest creating an environment, and providing the resources for children, regardless of their abilities, to grow. Unfortunately, your mission statement and it's goals, as regards this child, remain precisely that. A suggestion.

I might be so bold as to suggest, sir, that you are failing this child.

I understand that you served in the military, as have I. As someone having had the privilege of having served, and knowing what it means to "serve", you, sir, should be ashamed of your behavior. This child has no voice. You are that voice. You did not raise that voice in support of my stepdaughter at yesterdays meeting. You raised that voice at my wife. You do not talk down to the mother of a special needs child. She does not need, nor want, a lecture from an individual so far removed from her situation. You sir, do not have the perspective to "educate" my wife on the needs of her child. Your job, put plainly, is to serve. To provide an environment in which their growth, personally, as well as academically, may be fostered. Regardless of the needs of the child. We entrust our children to your care. We trust that you will champion them.

Three years ago, you stood with my wife in her long suffering struggle to see that Faith is provided with the care that she requires. Yesterday, you belittled her. I neither understand, nor care, why you have withdrawn your support. It is immaterial to the matter at hand. This is not about you. It is not even about my wife. It is about a little girl getting the care she requires. And it remains your job, not your purview, to do everything in your power to see that she does. It remains attendant to your duty sir, to fight for these children. You are a public servant.

I have, until now, allowed my wife and her ex-husband to fight this battle alone. No longer. I am now engaged, and will make it my priority in the days, weeks, and years to come to champion the cause which you have laid down. There are other Faith Smiths. Many more, if I am to judge by the way your school, and this Board of Education, have treated my stepdaughter. It is unjust, sir, and I intend to raise my voice, since they cannot.

It is incumbent upon you to answer to the parents of these children. Not talk down to them. Yesterday, you did a disservice to the school, the parents, and the children you serve. In this final year of your tenure, you will have the opportunity to leave this post knowing that you did the right thing for this little girl. If you have any sense of honor, I might suggest you seize upon that opportunity.

This fight is not over. Far from it.

Sincerely,

Joel Bailey

I was a bit shocked that he had taken this measure and of course touched that he had stood up, not only for me, but for Faith. He had mentioned about making a website for Faith to draw attention to her situation as there are more than likely other parents whom struggle just as we do. He's such a wonderful husband.

Friday I had emailed a very good friend, Cacie, and told her about the meeting. She came up with the idea that we start a fund raiser event for Faith and her situation. Not only to raise money for the cause, but also to raise awareness and attention to the matter. We've been kicking around several ideas and she thought of doing a Poker Run. We have come up with the name "Ride for Faith" and are starting to work on getting sponsor support. It's just in the beginnings but could turn into something pretty big.

As my husband said, it's time that people take a stand for these children who cannot voice for themselves.

The website is up, but more things will be added as the days, weeks, and months go on. The web address, if you'd like to visit, is: www.crusadeforfaith.org

Also Faith has her own blog that I will now be regularly updating, that address is: sweetfaith98.blogspot.com

It's a start and hopefully something that will open a few local eyes. I'll definitely keep you all updated on this as things unfold.