Time to be "sirius"

You know every once in awhile I need to do a reality check. Step back..... look, think, and appreciate.

Yesterday morning Joel had to drive out of town, still in WV granted, but good Lord to a place I had never heard of. Poor thing. One way trip was 2 hrs. I worried. That was a given, I'll always do that. So by 2pm I was in a bit of a panic because I hadn't heard from him. Of course the most horrible thoughts were running through my mind. Car accident, broke down.... ya know, Anxiety. I seriously think I may need to look into medication. I've always been this way for as far back as I can remember. Makes me wonder.

So, finally he gets back into town and he sends me a text that he is at Wal-Mart looking at a Sirius radio. He's mentioned looking into getting one since he's on the road and in a lot of areas where he just can't pick up a good radio station. Not that there are many good radio stations in WV anyway. Most of them play honky tonk, but we won't elaborate on that :)

I give him a call and he tells me that he's went ahead and bought one. I'm thinking "Ok, good. Now he'll have radio no matter where he goes." He meets me after work and hands me over his paycheck (go ahead ladies, envy away). We've been trying to plan this wedding and even though it's not going to be anything fancy we still have purchases we need to make. My dress, his tux, flowers, preacher, and let's not forget the most important..... HONEYMOON!!!! He's so excited about this radio! He's so cute when he gets this excited about something, I love it. So he heads home to "set it up" and I head to the bank. I stopped at a little store to pick up a few things and then home. He meets me at the car and says "This thing cost more to activate than what I thought.", and just gives me a look. Hard to describe really, kinda like little puppy dog eyes. He tells me the it cost $166. Ok. I'm a little confused. It's $166 including the $50 for the system? He says no.... it's $166 in addition to the $50. My jaw dropped, I do believe. I'm not much on understanding all this technical crap.... hell, I still don't have a clue what a friggin iPod does???

I didn't become angry, not at all. A little frustrated, I believe. But not angry. Of course the first thoughts running through my mind is... no dress, no tux, no honeymoon, no wedding. Hence the reason why I think I may need medication, see? He says to me, "We have 3 days to cancel without any kind of obligations. I can call them back and cancel the service and then in a month, two, or three call back to activate it." Now at that very moment I remember that excited look in his eyes when he showed up at work with his little toy. Boys and their toys, eh? I tell him no, to go ahead and leave it that there's no use in having something and not even being able to use it. So I immediately sit down to do up our checkbook and see what's coming out and what bills HAVE to be paid. He comes into the Living Room 3 or 4 times with this worried look on his face. I make a few calls... the insurance company, the phone company... to confirm the least amount we can pay to continue with service. Now granted, I was planning on making these calls anyway, had nothing to do with his radio. He kept reminding me each time he came into the Living Room that he had 3 days to cancel, he was so cute. The bottom line didn't look as bad as what I thought it was going to look, so I told him that it was fine with me to go ahead with it and that we were going to be ok. I did mention to him the next time either one of us go out and spend $200 that we should check with the other person first. He agreed, but then reminded me about my little shopping spree when he was in South Dakota. Ouch, that hurt. But ya know, he was absolutely right.

This morning as I look at his desk and see that little radio sitting there I just gotta stop and think..... he works so hard, never wants anything. He's content with the car he drives, the clothes he wears, packed lunch with ham sandwiches 5 days a week.... and I acted like a schmuck on impulse when he told me how much this thing was. Now this is a wonderful man, not a man out blowing money on strip clubs, gambling, booze, or drugs... but a man that works hard every day and just hands his check over to me to pay bills and buy what our family needs. How could have I reacted the way I did? I'm embarressed about my reaction. I have an absolute wonderful man who is dependable and sensible. Time to step back..... look, think and appreciate.

Time to be sirius.